Saudade has been described as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist … a turning towards the past or towards the future”.

In fact, one can have ‘saudades’ of someone whom one is with, but have some feeling of loss towards the past or the future.

The state of mind has subsequently become a “Portuguese way of life”: a constant feeling of absence, the sadness of something that’s missing, wishful longing for completeness or wholeness and the yearning for the return of that now gone, a desire for presence as opposed to absence—as it is said in Portuguese, a strong desire to “matar as saudades” (lit. to kill the saudades). ]

I remember such feeling ever since, most often on the verge of consciousness, when falling asleep or waking up, in disturbed morning sleep, and related to the absolutely pure fear and/of loneliness. However, it’s always missing something but don’t know what it is, as if it was forgotten in the dream. I think part of it haunts me through conscious day-life.

Discovered via, surely go and have a look at this video, the feeling is so familiar (for me) it gets creepy.

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