Saudade has been described as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist … a turning towards the past or towards the future”.
…
In fact, one can have ‘saudades’ of someone whom one is with, but have some feeling of loss towards the past or the future.
The state of mind has subsequently become a “Portuguese way of life”: a constant feeling of absence, the sadness of something that’s missing, wishful longing for completeness or wholeness and the yearning for the return of that now gone, a desire for presence as opposed to absence—as it is said in Portuguese, a strong desire to “matar as saudades” (lit. to kill the saudades).
[ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saudade ]
I remember such feeling ever since, most often on the verge of consciousness, when falling asleep or waking up, in disturbed morning sleep, and related to the absolutely pure fear and/of loneliness. However, it’s always missing something but don’t know what it is, as if it was forgotten in the dream. I think part of it haunts me through conscious day-life.
Discovered via http://vimeo.com/25559224, surely go and have a look at this video, the feeling is so familiar (for me) it gets creepy.