I have devised many ways how to torture myself

when I’m not into doing things I should

rather than being simply lazy and not giving a damn

they’re all time and energy consuming, and only postpone the unpleasant things

leaving no time for things I am into doing

I should also stop believing that when you misbehave, “do bad”

in any sense

you get a punch that will let you know and learn from it

the punch has lag and you realise it too late